


Drunk and found

by Nea



Series: Self-indulgent Eleven/Rory AU [3]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Self-indulging head!canon
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nea/pseuds/Nea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>All the love and thanks go to <a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com/">a_phoenixdragon</a> for her always helpful beta! <3 | Written for <a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://de-bingo.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://de-bingo.livejournal.com/">de_bingo</a>'s prompt 'alcoholic beverages'</p>
    </blockquote>





	Drunk and found

**Author's Note:**

> All the love and thanks go to [](http://a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com/profile)[a_phoenixdragon](http://a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com/) for her always helpful beta! <3 | Written for [](http://de-bingo.livejournal.com/profile)[de_bingo](http://de-bingo.livejournal.com/)'s prompt 'alcoholic beverages'

**Fandom:** Doctor Who  
 **Pairing:** Jack Harkness/John Hart  
 **Category:** slash, AU, ridiculous  
 **Author:** [](http://freaky-nea.livejournal.com/profile)[**freaky_nea**](http://freaky-nea.livejournal.com/)  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Word count:** ~ 1100  
 **Author's note:** All the love and thanks go to [](http://a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com/profile)[**a_phoenixdragon**](http://a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com/) for her always helpful beta!  <3 | Written for [](http://de-bingo.livejournal.com/profile)[**de_bingo**](http://de-bingo.livejournal.com/)'s prompt 'alcoholic beverages' | follow up to [How to let go](http://perfectpanama.livejournal.com/15616.html) and [Alone](http://perfectpanama.livejournal.com/16257.html) but can be read separately.  
 **Warnings:** Self-indulging head!canon  
 **Disclaimer:** The Doctor and Rory own my heart – I own nothing.  
 **Title:** Drunk and found

  
"Why are you looking like death?" Jack asks when his Vortex manipulator brings him to the right place.

"Jack, Jack, Jack. No chit-chat, no flowers, no compliments... Is this really the way you want to greet me, after all this while?" John shakes his head in mock disappointment before taking a quaff from the Tequila bottle in his hand. "Still your usual charming self, as I see,” He continues when Jack stays silent. "And I hoped you would be happy to see me. Or at least a little worried. Caring, you know?"

Now Jack is the one who shakes his head in disapproval. He leans slightly against the heap of rubble opposite of the one John's sitting on and when it seems stable enough, he takes a seat. "Talk. Now, preferably, and when it doesn't make sense, I'm out of here."

"You wouldn't just leave me here, would you, Jack? In the miserable condition I am right now?" John gives him a pout that he probably even means and Jack rolls his eyes.

"Talk," he demands again.

"I ate five Plutonian eggs..." John starts.

"Five!" Jack's yell interrupts him, because everyone knows that three of such eggs are the absolute limit if you're not Plutonian. "You have completely lost your mind!"

"Oh, you know how it is sometimes... There are rich people, and there are these eggs and then there are bets on how many eggs you'll eat before you drop dead..." John shrugs helplessly. "It's really hard to resist, and I'm only human after all..."

Before Jack can say anything, John pats the pocket of his coat and muffled jingling of coins can be heard. "Nobody thought I'd made it to five! Got quite good money from it..."

"Well, why am I not surprised?" Jack asks out loud, smirking.

With a big expectant grin, John changes the subject suddenly. "So, get naked and ready, will ya?"

They have this thing - some people that aren't Jack or John might call it an agreement - where they meet at random places by letting each other know where they are and have sex if times allows. But in this particular situation...

"Sex is completely off the table! You're way too pissed and I'm not pissed enough!" Jack tells him.

"I'm never too pissed to shag!" John says, exasperated. "And if I were, I kinda hoped you would take advantage of me. On the table..." He winks at Jack, looking around. "Hell, here is not even a table!"

"Exactly! Finally something we both can agree on! With all the money you won, couldn't you afford a decent hotel room?" Jack is amused, almost against better judgement. "Are we in a church? Or rather in something that used to be a church before a bomb hit it?"

He takes a look around and all he can see are brick walls that look as if they could collapse any moment, held upright by their own sheer will. If that can be said about walls in the first place. Unstable walls and mountains of rubble are pretty much everywhere, leaving a narrow path they could walk on.

"I don't know!" John shrugs, taking another gulp of Tequila. "People pissed off that they lost their bets were blaming me of cheating, so I had to disappear. There was no time to check the coordinates properly..."

"I can picture it perfectly..." Jack can't help but mumble, amused.

"Let's find an altar and fuck on it!" John suggests, getting up. He sways and trips as he tries to take a few steps towards Jack.

"Yes, because you're so perfectly capable of the most simple course of motions as I see..." Jack gets up quickly to grab John by his coat before he can fall. "Let's walk around, keep the alcohol circulating..."

John put one of his arms around Jack's shoulders, who props him with his arm around his waist. Together they slowly make it through the building.

Its far side seems neater. There's even something that looks like a makeshift dwelling created from planks and a lot of broken things.

Jack is pretty sure he sees a few broken chairs and broken metallic bed frames. "Someone lives here."

"I do," says a voice behind them.

Jack pulls his gun, turning around and points it at a young man, almost a boy. He's very thin and pale, and clutches a crow bar sized pipe, obviously ready to use it in self-defense.

"Who are you?" The young man demands to know, his voice surprisingly steady and determined.

"Do you have more booze, mate?" John asks, swinging his nearly empty bottle in front of the guy. "I'm running out of mine and I really need some supply"

"I barely have water." The look the guy gives John clearly says he thinks John's mental. And Jack can't blame him. That's the default impression John leaves on other people.

"Sorry, he ate too many Plutonian eggs and has to kill its toxins with alcohol." Jack explains apologetically. I'm Jack Harkness by the way and that's John Hart."

"Jack Harkness?" The young man's eyes go wide with surprise. "Are you friends of the Doctor?"

"You know the Doctor?" Now it's Jack's turn to be surprised.

"Mad man with a blue box," the guy grins. "I'm Rory. A solar tsunami forced us to land here and..."

"So, you know where the altar is, right?" John interrupts impatiently.

"I doubt there is one." Rory says. "This place used to be a monastery, then it's been an acid factory, and now it's just... abandoned..."

John curses at hearing this and takes one last quaff, emptying the bottle.

"… when the second wave hit us, everyone but me was gone..." Rory continues, quietly.

"Solar tsunamis are mean and their energy screws up time travel devices. I'm sure he did everything he could to get you back..." Jack says, because that's how the Doctor is. He doesn't leave people behind.

"Let's hope it won't screw up ours, because I *really* need another bottle of booze..." John tries to whisper, but it comes out louder than planned.

"So let's get out of here then, shall we, Rory?" Jack pats Rory's shoulder encouragingly, who just nods happily.

"Let's synchronize our coordinates." Jack orders, before John disappears to God knows where. "My place."

"Where is your place?" John wants to know, stretching his arm so Jack can type in their destination. He sways again, so Rory props him on the other side and they set off.  



End file.
